Like a good chunk of my fellow interweb brethren, I waste away my days holding down the shift key on tumblr, usually in response to a picture of a comedian who's life is irrevocably better than mine. I sit on the couch in my mismatched living room with the beautiful view of ConEdison on the edge of the bustling metropolis of Astoria, Queens, wistfully taking in the sight of two sweaty mechanics yelling at each other in Spanish as I dream of writing comedy sketches and sitcom pilots somewhere swanky.
Dream Caity is definitely one of Saturday Night Live's most beloved Weekend Update anchors, who fell in love with her charmingly dorky co-anchor and left her mega-hit run on the show to write her own quirky sitcom starring herself and Amy Poehler that is almost definitely going to win her a million Emmys and her own internet fandom full of smutty fan fiction about her characters. Dream Caity is gonna kick back in her old age and think about how bad ass her smash career in comedy television was as she sips a Mimosa in her Manhattan rooftop pool and laughs at how small Betty White's career was in comparison.
Real Caity sells studio tour tickets to tourists and sits in line for four hours in anticipation of free improv shows on a weekly basis. Real Caity cannot afford alcohol. Real Caity is every other 22 year old post-grad in New York.
So why read this blog? Fuck if I know. As I ruminate for the millionth time over zillion dollar improv classes and drop tears over the fact that my writing skillz (with a z because they are xtreme) get wasted on sitcom fanfiction rather than spec scripts for portfolios, I figured maybe it was time to Write. Not the excuse for writing that my tumblr blog, full of sexual innuendos involving pointy faced actors, but real Writing. Which to my generation means a blog about yourself because WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW and I know how to be a lost kid in the city who has no idea how to live life as an adult.
HERE IS MY PRETEND WRITING BLOG. The entries will be long, the prose will be stupid. You will read it because I will guilt you into it. So help me GOD, I will guilt you into it. Because tomorrow is my 22ND BIRTHDAY and as a present you are going to humor my poor soul.
Welcome to Business, Blogs, and Bitches, the blog where the title is completely irrelevant to the content.
I give this thing a week.