What I've Been Up To (Nothing)

Remember how I predicted that this thing wouldn't last? Sigh. Do you ever get that slump around August/September, where you're kind of tired from trying to keep yourself busy all summer, but you feel that little thread of dread whether you're going back to school or not, and it keeps you from being creative?

The is the first fall since 1992 where I haven't been gearing up for a new school year, and since my mind is hazy regarding the second year of my life, I don't quite remember how to handle it. Maybe I should buy a lot of Juicy Juice and watch Sesame Street? God, that sounds kind of perfect, actually. What's Elmo up to these days?

So here's what I've been up to:

Disney World! Whereupon I fell back into that obsession, befriended a 13 year old and an 11 year old to the point where they comment about missing me on my Instagram pictures of cheesecake, got my period on Space Mountain (my mom was disappointed to learn that, no, there are no Mickey ears on their tampons), ate way too much food, got drunk almost every day, and now I'm just continuing to sit on YouTube and rewatch other families' vacation videos while I feel bad about not being there. But it's okay, don't be concerned, I'm already planning a return trip because I don't know what else post-grads have to look forward to.

I got my hair done, finally, after more than four months of ignoring it. Let's not talk about what happened, but just get to the part where my Yelp review caused the salon to offer me an entire free color/cut the next time I go in. Passive aggressive complaining about bad hair stylists works, people.

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett broke up, which somehow seemed to crack any hope I had in relationships and sent me into a really fun downward spiral of anxiety until I landed at the bottom with Amy's body image video. If you haven't seen it yet, what are you, some kind of internet hermit? Watch it. It'll quite honestly make you feel better about a lot of things, and probably will make you cry. It's probably silly, the extent to which we care about our favorite celebrities, but comforting to see one come out of a rocky time unscathed and doling out hopeful advice.

THE EMMYS. Were really boring. Like, what happened to Jimmy Kimmel? I usually like him, but dear god, between the predictable comedy winners (can someone run cold water over everyone's Modern Family boners?) and the stale skits, what a cruddy year. Except for the fact that Poehler rocked out with her cock (tits?) out and that bit with her and Julia Louis-Dreyfus was actually the greatest. I LOVE LADIES SUPPORTING LADIES THROUGH UNEXPECTED COMICAL BITS. And I love ladies being super hot at age 41 after two kids and a divorce.

Otherwise I've been going to work, eating junk food, and procrastinating over taking a shower. The usual!