Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Turn that Hurri-can't into a Hurri-CAN!

So, some bitch named Sandy is wrecking havoc. Women, amiright? Classic misogynistic jokes aside, this shit has been sort of weird for a Midwesterner in New York.

On the eve of the hurricane, I was totally playing it cool, leaning against walls at work and being all, "Pffft, in Chicago, we get tornados. Lots of them. All the time." I probably should have worn some Ray Bans and smoked a cigarette as I said it, I was so fucking chill. What a douchebag. Employees around me, like real television employees, not part time gift shop workers, were worrying about how to get to work, wondering how the show would go on. And I was all, peace out, see you on the other side of this bitch~


To be fair, I live in Queens, and the hurricane was mostly a snore for us here. The wind was startling, the water in the toilet bowl wouldn't stop swirling (Is this like, a hurricane thing? Is my toilet possessed? Does the power of Christ need to compel it? Fucking Sandy), and a huge tree on our block toppled over. Otherwise, we've had good luck keeping our power, and I've had good luck sitting in bed, eating food, and watching lots of Disney Channel Original Movies. Halloweentown, right guys? Did you know Kimberly J. Brown has a twitter?

I don't know how one preps for weather like this. After sauntering out of work when we closed early on Sunday, I headed to CVS and wandered aimlessly around the store. I ended up coming home with kettlecorn, tuna, and Reese's peanut butter cups. You know, the essentials. Meanwhile, my roommate filled every possible water holding device with water, stored all around our kitchen like a zombie apocalypse is in the horizon and we might get thirsty.

In all seriousness, I really lucked out here. The worst things the storm did to me was make my sinuses go absolutely insane, and force me to steal internet from elsewhere. But I'm massively hopeful that the city picks itself back up this week; New York is pretty resilient, and I'm sure everyone will return to scoffing over the weather like the beautiful, disinterested masses they are. But it might take a few days. This shit was legitimately terrible, and I hope those of us who survived with homes intact are grateful. It's pretty amazing to see how much New York becomes a community in the face of hardships.

In the words if the immortal Katy Perry, "After a hurricane comes a rainbow." I guess she's right, because there's a rainbow . . . Katy Perry is a meteorologist!

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